​Welcome Speech
Hello, my name is Bisi Osundeko
 
You are welcome to the virtual book launch event for my first independently published book titled befriending Adversity: how I leveraged the power of adversity in my life and business
 
Welcome to my online guests and those who will be watching this on a replay. Please tell me what town or city or country that you are watching from. It will be nice to appreciate the reach of my virtual book launch.
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My book ‘Befriending Adversity’ was written in response to the curiosity of the people that I have met so far in my life. I always get the ‘how did you do that’ and the ‘why’ questions all the time.
 
How do you manage to do all that you do? How did you successfully propel your business to its current successful level despite all the obstacles that you have encountered in life so far.
 
So, here’s my answer to all these questions. My book 'befriending adversity' answers all those important question on my unique attitude to adversity. The strategies and principles that have worked for me so far.

As regards my writing journey, I’m a self-taught writer and my writing was borne out of the need for self-expression. My heart felt heavy years ago on a particular day and I just felt the need to get some words out there to the wold as regards the challenges that I was facing as a parents to two children with disabilities. I grabbed my laptop and typed almost 20 pages about my special needs parenting journey. Prior to then, I have done a bit of blogging and I also run an onlinenplatform for disability awreness.

For me, writing is another form of facilitating important conversations. I write as though I am talking to you, one person. My story was a series of Facebook posts that I posted within the popular female empowerment group, 'female in'. I had to split my story into 3 parts because it was so long.
When I posted my story in that group, to me I was simply raising awareness but the tons of positive response to my story was life changing. Thousands of comments and private messages as well.
Ladies wrote to me to ask if I had ever considered putting my story into a book. It was a surprise for me because my understanding then was that I needed some sort of literature degree to be an author. I didn’t realise that the authenticity of my true life story was simply enough.
Every other skill can be developed and although it has taken me a couple more years to get here, I’m so pleased to witness this amazing time in the history of my life and I thank you for coming with me on this journey.
I started with contributing a chapter of my special needs parenting journey to an amazing book, an antology called 'I fly: stories of overcoming adversity'. 'I fly' literally launched me into the published writing world because it is such an amazing book that I co-authored with 19 other writers from around the world.
So at the time I wrote 'I fly', I desired to write another book, this time a complete book that will reflect my business expertise. I also wanted the book to reflect my
life experiences. Afterall, you can't really separate these two aspects of my life. After writing, I literally wrote down more than 10 titles before I finaly narrowed it to down to this unique title that I feel  perfectly sums up what this book that we are launching today is all about : Befriending Adversity: How I leveraged the power of adversity in my life and business.
With this book, I hope that your life will not remain the same because the nuggets are life changing. After each chapter, there are some useful nuggests to help you remember the vital points in each chapter.
I really can't wait to hear your amazing feedback. I am confident that your understading of how we should handle adversity will be greatly impacted.
You will realise that adversity is not our foe but a friend. Of course, only if you practice the strategies that you learn in my book. So again, welcome to my book launch,

• Here are some of the activities that you can expect today:
•  15.00 Welcome
• 15.10 Book Trailer
• 15.15 Live Q &A
• 15.20 About Bisi Osundeko
• 15.20 Book Reading
• 15.28 Let's hear from inspirational people who have overcome adversity
• 15.30 Cllr Vanessa Boateng (Creations by Viva)
• 15.35 Ufuoma Anighoro (Marvellous Mix Limited Ltd)
• 15.40 Shana Begum (Mental Health/ DA expert)
• 15.50 Announcement of book launch winners
• 16.00 Vote of Thanks

In my ‘Befriending Adversity ‘ book, you will learn the following:
​1. That Adversity is part of life and we must brace up for it.
2.  How to cultivate a positive attitude amid adversity.
3. The importance of focusing on your purpose, vision, and dreams instead of focusing on adversity, setbacks, and challenges.
4. Why keeping the right association is the key to success in life and business.
5. How to build a passionate team for optimal business success.
6. How to get rid of the victim’s mentality in times of adversity.
7. How not to quit when life’s challenges buffet you.
8. Why hard work is a prerequisite for success in life and business.
9. The principles for overcoming adversity and setbacks in life and business.  

'Befriending Adversity' is available on amazon (kindle for those who love electronic books and in paperback for those of us who love the feel of paper) as we speak! Thank you so much for your support, patronage and reviews.
Please sit back and enjoy my book launch.

 

​In memory of my son, Justin Osundeko
Born and gone to be with the Lord on the 26th January, 2018 at approx 2am in the morning
Justin, writing they say is therapeutic. I never thought i would have to write these words. Nothing prepared me for this.  Justin, from the moment your lovely dad, Dr Osundeko and I learnt about your miraculous conception, we were already deeply in love with you just like we love your older siblings Joy and Joseph. We had prayed so hard for you even before we discovered that you were growing right here in my tummy. Justin, you were a special baby because it took us approx 7 years to conceive you. You were a gift to our family. It doesn’t make sense to me that you were snatched away from belly just approx 4weeks before it would have been legally right to resuscitate you at birth and 4 months to your due date. I will never see you grow up. I mourn the loss of your future. I feel cheated.
Your daddy and i were already imagining what our future will be with you in our lives, with you being besties to your big sister Joy and big brother Joseph. Your dad and i love you so much so much so that if love alone was enough to save your life, you will still be in my tummy today. We are so sorry that we couldn’t do anything to stop you from gaining your angel’s wings. From the moment my stomach cramps started around my pelvic region, i assumed it was SPD from the account of many other pregnant women as regards common causes of pelvic pain in pregnancies. I not wanting to depend on dr google decided to let the community midwife know to see if anything could be done to alleviate my pain and suffering. We really wanted to enjoy your pregnancy so the amount of pain i was enduring was unbelievable Justin, only because the love we have for you as with all our children is priceless. i couldn’t reach the midwife because she only has certain days when shes’s in the office. I was allowed to speak to another member of her team and she told me that i was likely having pelvic pain from the description of my symptom. I observed that the pain i was having on a daily basis  the week prior to your birth was excrutiating , it was at intervals. I had no idea that i was already in labour. As a high risk pregnancy, i was hoping that i was going to be able to get scanned to see how you were doing. But my next scan was a week away 31st January so i was advised to be patient since my scan date was close. I phoned almost on a daily basis because the pain wasn’t going away even with pain killers. I nagged the midwives  on  phone to see if anyone would offer me a scan but i was put through to the xxxx hospital physios who promised to get back to me and till date i haven’t heard from them. Apparently they support pregnant women with spd by advising about exercise and offering support belts and anything to alleviate the pain. See Justin but i was not actually having spd because a phone diagnosis can be wrong. I wish a medic took the time to maybe scan me or listen to your heart beat. I had no idea that you were already struggling with your life at that time. We still don’t know when you passed on but when we had the last scan for you, we were told that you were an active healthy baby contently sucking your thumb despite the presence of 5 fibroid tumours around where you were growing in my belly. By the time I spoke to the midwife on phone, she spoke to the GP who then phoned me for a phone consultation. The GP offered me a strong painkiller, co-codamol. Justin, that wasn’t exactly what we needed if only we knew, we needed to know if you were still thriving. In the middle of all these chaos, your dad and i even considered going private, we were still weighing our options and looking for help when all this happened. Even though you were still in my belly, we dote on all our children from the moment they are conceived. The co-codamol painkiller didn’t alleviate the pain and this was where the confusion mounted. I again didn’t worry about being tagged a nagging pregnant mum, i phoned the midwife again and again but all i got was phone conversions, nobody offered to send me for a scan because they felt that my scan date was getting closer. This time, another doctor based on insistence, offered us a home visit and he was right there whilst i was in labour but he had no clue that i was in labour. He prescribed antibiotics for UTI despite not checking my urine and was unusually over playful. It is confusing that i miscarried you hours after the doctor’s visit. Your doting dad even asked if the GP can help us check if everything is alright with baby with the level of pain i’ve been through for almost a week and he replied that he didn’t come with his stethoscope. How ridiculously unbelievable is that line?  You visit an ailing pregnant woman as a doctor without a stethoscope? I started the antibiotics almost an hour after the doctor left and i had no idea that you were to be miscarried that in a few hours despite all the help that we attempted to seek. Justin, i want you to know that as parents, we never take chances, we are very proactive and heaven knows that your dad and i despite not knowing what was about to happen, tried our best to get you medical help.. I am so upset that the midwife invited me to hospital only after i started bleeding. By that time, it was too late to save you. For one week, i lived on painkillers and i couldn’t sleep too. Maybe you were trying to tell me something. With the level of pain i was going through, all i wanted was for someone to scan and check to see what was going on with you.
Your dad has been my pillar of support from the day you were conceived and always, he constantly prays for you, me and your siblings at any given opportunity. He treats me like a queen. He suddenly become my personal physician, inspecting how much water i drank to ensure that i was drinking enough water to prevent a build-up of UTI like i had in my first trimester. He would remind me of my prenatal vitamins, he worked extra hard and ensured that everything we bought for you ahead of your due date was brand new and the best on the market.He worked extra hours, did extra work to ensure that your future and that of your siblings was secured. What more can you ask for in father? You might never get to play football with your dad and Joseph as i dreamt but i want you to know that you are blessed to have such an amazingly kind gentleman as a father. He would cook and feed me and your siblings on many days when i was simply not strong enough to cook or withstand the smell of cooking ingredients. Wow, your dad was so excited about having another son.  You need to know that you were deeply loved. Mayor and i loved you and i guess no one will really understand the depth of our loss.
It’s easy for anyone to assume that since we already have two children, we shouldn’t feel any loss. These things are not easy to explain because it is so personal. But you just know when your family is incomplete and we knew we needed you to complete our growing family. See Justin, this world which you left is such a mixed multitude and judgmental place, if mayor and i had no children and were simply career focused as we both are workaholics, people will still have an opinion as why carer oriented people who do not want children are selfish people. When you decide you love and want children, the number of children you personally chose to have becomes a subject that other people feel they should debate about. This is life, people often feel that they have an opinion about other people’s personal lives. Mayor and are i are prepared to do all we can to give you and your siblings the best and fundamentals of life and most importantly to nurture you with love, care and attention.  Mayor and i would joke about who would stay up at night to do your feeds , i was already researching about breastfeeding and i had contingency plan in place to express my milk and bottle feed you with the most nutritious milk even if direct breastfeeding didn’t work out.
We would jokingly argue about your official names and so we were still undecided about the name ‘oluwaseni’ until the very moment you passed on. You dad wanted you to be named ‘olumayowa’
We would chat about about how joy and joseph would react to having you in the family. We dreamt about how you will sit with joy to play with her and we even dreaded that you and joseph will have some sibling rivalry being both boys because joseph doesn’t really like to share his toys with other kids.
Because 2nd trimester comes with a surge of energy, your dad made the provision for me to start preparing your nursery. Almost everything we needed for your birth was ready except for the fact we had to wait until your due date and that will never happen now that you’ve gained your angels’ wings. There is so much to say Justin but i hope you will see and appreciate the sort of loving family you would have being born into.
Your dad witnessed your birth yesterday and i was told that you were born in your amniotic sac and you looked so peaceful curled into a ball, oblivious of  the chaos looming. The nurses had to break your amniotic sac with our permission so that we got the opportunity to cuddle your tiny body before you were buried or cremated. Holding you has been one of the momentous and saddest day of my life. I never thought your life was going to end like this. I never saw this coming Justin i sang you nursery rhyme because this was one of the things i was going to do when you needed cuddling to sleep or when you simply need entertainment as a baby. Your dad and i love music and dancing! I was still in pain from the injections, still drowsy from the effect of the morphine and painkiller and i didn’t even know when i drifted in and out of sleep like a drunk woman. I don’t know how you managed not to fall from my chest as i rocked your tiny body on my chest. I still got to experience skin to skin / kangaroo care with you. I had dreamt of these happy moments as one of the ways that i was going to use to bond with you after you were born. At around midday, after the Chaplin came over for your blessings, the doctors came over to sign form to arrange for your burial and medical testing. We knew it was time to say a final goodbye. As were planning to leave you in the hospital room, a nurse came over and put a white cloth over your body. I wish she didn’t do that in our presence. Your loving dad, mayor broke down, he cried like I’ve never seen him cry before. Justin this wasn’t the sort of celebration we dreamt of when mayor planned your naming ceremony. I had to encourage your dad to let you continue to sleep peacefully in peace. Leaving you in the hospital, cold and lonely in that tiny white Moses basket was one of the hardest things we’ve ever done. We had no choice. We had to say a final goodbye to you. We cried all through our walk through the hospital corridors and also as we drove home. We have lost you forever but you will live in our hearts Justin .
We love and miss you Justin. Rest in peace little Osundeko soldier
 

​I want the world to remember this remarkable woman Adetoun Comfort Banwo (nee Oyebola). I often rarely post about my mum online because 13 years after her passing on to glory, emotions still run high whenever I remember how much I miss my mum. My mum was a lot to me and to so many people who knew her. Those who have read my I FLY chapter within the best selling I FLY book and my latest book ( Befriending Adversity) will notice that my mum was mentioned. She was a huge part of my life. Her death to me personally was the beginning of adversity. Quite coincidentally, I coach individuals on adversity in life and business today.
One of the poignant memories of my mum was when I was in secondary school, I didn’t get any awards that particular year but my mum always made it her point of duty to attend all our school events. So after the end of the award ceremony that day, I was so ashamed to walk towards my mum so I hid in the crowd of students. My mum found me out and gave me a big hug! Due to the fact that she was such a disciplinarian, I was expecting some sort of reprimand and not a hug that day!
She then said ‘ Bisi, I know how bright you are and I know that you are capable of performing better academically so don’t worry about this year’. Happy tears filled my eyes and we held each other without caring if other parents, teachers and children were watching!
The following year, I did so well that my awards were presented by the state governor of Lagos state at the time. I did this for my mum. I just wanted to make my mum proud. I owe this to my mum for the faith she had in me and all her children. She was accepting of our flaws, that meant so much to me.
These are some of the things I want the world to remember about my unforgettable mother:
She was a really beautiful person inside and out: She had the sort of physical beauty that made people look whenever she walked pass! My primary and secondary schools friend often teased me that I looked nothing like my mum lolz

She was super industrious and hardworking: Yes, my mum was born into a royal family and married to an engineer (my dad) but I admire the fact that she started her own business. She did her best to ensure that she was not a liability to anyone. I was watching my mum with admiration through her sweat and tears. This is the reason why I just smile when people tell me that I work too hard right now. I can’t be a daughter of Adetoun and be lazy. I have my mother’s genes in me, so naturally bound to be energetic!
She was a really spiritual person: She loved God and she had such a deep connection with her spirituality. Fasting and praying was part of my growing up thanks to my mum. I have to admit that I sometimes sense that my mother’s prayers are still sustaining me till today! Breakthroughs happen from time to time, it has to be my mother’s prayers holding me tight and not letting me fall.

She loved fashion: My mum taught me about the importance of presenting yourself properly at all times. Whether she was happy or sad, whenever the occasion called, my mum would dress up and show up! Growing up, even our school socks had to be super clean because my mum hated shabby dressing or unkempt appearance. She was such a popular person among her peers for this reason. She wasn’t ashamed of standing out with her huge gele! Mu was was extroverted and she was proudly so.

She was super jovial and playful: my childhood was a happy one thanks to my mother. She would sit us down and tell us funny stories about her own growing up. Some of her stories were clearly fictional but she would often insist that they were real haha! Adetoun was such a playful person and I honestly think if more parents spent time dancing and singing to their children, we will have less unhappy people in the world. My mum wanted us to be happy no matter what. Music and dancing was a such a huge part of our lives. People saw my mum as a strong, no-nonsense person but at home, she was really down to earth and ab occasional comedian to her children! How can I forget how she knelt down in front of the TV when Agbanj Darego won. She was crying and speaking in tongues begging God to make her own children successful. All of us at home were just laughing at her! She had a larger than life personality and she was so extra sometimes! Like when the super eagles won a particular match, my mum bought lots of bottles of pepsi and told us to distribute them to the neighbors lolz! She was such an emotional person and she often made us laugh!
My mum was super caring to a fault: She doted on us (her children) and even took on other people’s children as hers. I grew up seeing my mum care for people that I wasn’t even biologically related to. That was the sort of personality she had. She confided in me about her desire to start an orphanage when God blesses her. Sadly she never lived to see that happen. I hope that I can make you proud mummy. Through my Joy and Joe foundation, my husband and I have made lots of charitable donations to families of children with special needs in Nigeria. Till date, I still get emails from people thanking us for our generosity but I feel that we have only scratched the surface. Our aspiration is to do bigger charitable deeds and I hope that my late mum is smiling down on us. When I was in the boarding school, my mum made it her point of duty to cook delicious meals and my school friends loved my mum for her cooking! When I got into the university, my mum travelled to school with me for the first couple of weeks and I can remember telling her that I was the only University student who had their mum accompany them to school daily. According to her, she was worried that I was going to miss my way or she was simply worried that I was only 17 when I got into the University so she didn’t think that I was mature enough to cope on my own!!! This woman took motherhood to another level. She was so obsessed with our welfare and tears still feel my eyes when I imagine how painful it must feel when God called her home suddenly.
My mum was very emotional: I honestly can’t count how many times that I have seen her cry. She was a very strong woman yet for some reasons, she also cried a lot. Whenever she was happy, she would cry tears of joy and whenever she was sad, she would also cry a lot. I sometimes didn’t understand her for this reason growing up but I do now. Adetoun, your Labour has not been in vain. Though I miss you dearly, I know that you are in the best place now. With the level of turmoil in our present world, I can’t say if you’re missing out on anything. Continue to rest in the bosom of our Lord Jesus Christ. I’m glad that I flew to Switzerland to spend that memorable weekend with you before you died.
Again, you cooked for Mayor and I and told us lots of stories about your experiences in that country. We went to church together and danced so much as if we owned the church! That image of you standing at the train station, wiping your tears with a corner of your dress as my train departed will stay with me forever. As my train moved further away from you, the physical distance between us widened until I couldn’t see you at all. I was slightly puzzled that you were crying so hard as I returned to the UK but I now understand. That was the very last time we saw each other and I wonder if your crying meant that you knew what was coming. I have too many questions Adetoun. I can honestly say that I wonder why you left us so early 13 years ago. I miss you so much beautiful soul. Thanks so much for being my mother Princess Adetoun Omo Oba. The world will not forget your name!

To watch the live streaming of my book launch today, please click the button below

We live in a world of adversities, a world of storms, troubles, difficulties, and challenges. From the day we are born until the day we die, we would encounter adversity and face difficult circumstances. There are no exceptions; the same wind blows on us all. While a large percentage of people give up on their dreams and allow adversity to defeat them, a few others defy adversity and walk their way to success and greatness.
In this book, you will learn:
​1. That Adversity is part of life and we must brace up for it.
2. How to cultivate a positive attitude amid adversity.
3.The importance of focusing on your purpose, vision, and dreams instead of focusing on adversity, setbacks, and challenges.
4. Why keeping the right association is the key to success in life and business.
5. How to build a passionate team for optimal business success.
6. How to get rid of the victim’s mentality in times of adversity.
7. How not to quit when life’s challenges buffet you.
8. Why hard work is a prerequisite for success in life and business.
9. The principles for overcoming adversity and setbacks in life and business.

The difference between the successful and the mediocre people in any society or nation is dependent largely on their ability to embrace adversity, defy adversity, and overcome adversity.
Those who shrink from adversity, learn nothing new, neither do they discover their hidden strength. However, the courageous look adversity in the face, conquers it, and succeeds despite it. I believe that as you apply the principles in this book, you would not only overcome adversity but also accomplish your dreams and ambitions in great measures. See you at the top!
Bisi Osundeko
Author, Coach and Speaker